


proof of what you're feeling

by archaeocyaths



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Drinking, Light Angst, M/M, Making Out, Practice Kissing, Roommates, ao3 make 'oh my god they were roommates' a tag already!!!!!!, i accidentally made wonu a slut, soonyoung needs a kissing teacher
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:07:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28807062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/archaeocyaths/pseuds/archaeocyaths
Summary: kwon soonyoung is sick of being a bad kisser, and jealous that his dumb nerd egghead roommate (otherwise known as 'jeon wonwoo') somehow hooks up with more people than him. there is an obvious solution to this.
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi
Comments: 38
Kudos: 158





	proof of what you're feeling

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lovker](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovker/gifts).



> this is tropey and entirely self indulgent and i am having so much fun! get ready!!!! 
> 
> for rick, who said "no! don't get brainworms!" and made me get brainworms :-)

There are very few things that Soonyoung knows for sure, but of those things, a select list would include the following:

1\. No other group will ever come close to Shinee and it is foolish for anyone to try.  
2\. He was a tiger in his past life.  
3\. He is a terrible kisser.

Soonyoung tries to believe in a growth mindset rather than placing parts of his personality into crates and hammering them down forever. It’s like his first dance teacher told him: even if he’s terrible now, he might not be terrible later. (Granted, he was eight and that teacher was an asshole, but it paid off pretty well.) Every time someone says “I’m just bad at making friends” or “I wish I could be more outdoorsy, but I’m just not!” Soonyoung will materialize with an aggressive pep talk and the importance of believing in your own ability to adapt.

There are, though, some innate truths that one must accept about themselves. And for Soonyoung, it’s that no matter how enthusiastic he is, no matter how many self-help articles he reads, he’s a bad kisser. His partners will pull away to wipe their lips with a polite smile at best, but at worst, it can look like a tall, hot, just-built-enough guy following Soonyoung’s “come hither” smile into the bathroom only to shake his head and walk back out a minute later.

Not that that’s ever happened. Or happened more than once.

Still, just because being a bad kisser is a core facet of his identity doesn’t mean he’s happy about it.

“I just want to make out with someone,” he whines. Soonyoung is currently in Junhui and Minghao’s apartment, head in Mingyu’s lap and an empty bottle of soju hanging from a hand that is dangling dramatically off of the couch. “But no one wants to make out with me.”

He hiccups sadly.

Mingyu runs his hands through Soonyoung’s hair consolingly. “You’ll find someone one day. I mean, you’re so enthusiastic about it, it’s only a matter of time before someone appreciates that.”

Soonyoung’s face scrunches up. “You can only say that because Minghao thinks your slobber is cute.”

“I resent that,” Minghao says from the other side of Mingyu where he’s curled into his chest, cheeks tipsy-flushed. “It’s true, but I still resent it.”

Jun groans, loudly. “Are we really spending another Friday night talking about what a bad kisser Soonyoung is instead of gossiping about Wonwoo’s current location?”

“No one knows where Wonwoo-hyung is, dummy,” Mingyu says. Jun flicks a shrimp chip at his forehead, and it bounces off to land perfectly in Soonyoung’s mouth.

“Three points,” Jun notes casually, before refocusing. “And maybe you don’t know where he is, but I had Wonwoo share his location with me before he went out tonight.”

“How did you manage that?” Soonyoung interjects, suspicious. “I fucking live with him and he won’t even tell me what he’s doing half the time.”

“If you want to get technical about it,” Jun says, glaring at him, “I used his thumbprint to unlock his phone when he was passed out on that exact couch a couple months ago and shared his location with me indefinitely.”

“You sneaky motherfucker,” Minghao mutters, but he looks like he’s turning the idea over in his head. He opens his mouth for Jun’s shrimp chip missile and fumbles extraordinarily when it hits right under his eye instead.

“Back to the point,” Soonyoung says, dropping the soju bottle on the floor so he can flop his hand in Jun’s direction. “Where is my dear departed roommate?”

“He’s not dead, drama queen,” Mingyu says, exasperated.

“He started the night off in a club on the other side of the river, and now he’s at one of the U-Seoul dorms.” Jun sits back in his chair, somehow looking smug even as he shoves a handful of shrimp chips into his mouth.

Mingyu whistles. Minghao gasps. Soonyoung groans.

“How the fuck does that dork pull so much?” he whines. “He literally does nothing at home except feed the cat and play video games.”

“He also does your dishes and your laundry,” Jun points out. “He texts me to complain about it all the time.”

“And he works out with me,” Mingyu adds. “He’s kind of shredded when he’s not wearing a fucking hoodie.”

“I’m shredded!” Soonyoung protests. “You’ve seen me!”

“Not like Wonwoo-hyung,” Minghao says, and now his eyes look a little glassy. Mingyu snaps in front of his face. “Anyway. I don’t know, hyung, that’s something you’d need to talk to him about. I bet he has some tips.”

“I bet he’s just a good fucking kisser,” Soonyoung mutters. “It’s not fair.”

“Life isn’t fair,” Jun says sagely, if a bit garbled from the food in his mouth and the deep slouch that has his chin touching his chest. “Get used to it.”

“I’m going to drink the rest of your beer,” Soonyoung says. He stands up and sways magnificently, bending like a willow tree in the wind, but remains upright. “See if you can get used to how unfair that is.”

Sure, maybe that doesn’t make sense, but his thoughts are a little mushy right now, so Soonyoung figures he’s allowed to not make sense. Unfortunately, as he opens a beer in the kitchen, the only thoughts that stay sharp in his mind even as he hears the conversation move on in the living room are the following: Maybe Wonwoo is a good kisser. And maybe he does have some tips.

———  
From: Seo Myungho  
_Did you make it back home ok??  
Hellooooo  
Hyung????  
Are you okay  
Do you need me to send Mingyu_

  
To: Seo Myungho  
_omggggg hiiii  
im homee 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 no mignyu required  
no wonwoo tho :(_

From: Seo Myungho  
_Wow thanks for letting me know you’re not dead on a subway platform  
????? So what_

To: Seo Myungho  
_cant cuddle :((((_

From: Seo Myungho  
_Gross  
Goodnight hyung_

To: Seo Myungho  
_gnnnnnn ilyyy sleep tight tell mingoo i love himt oooooo_

  
———

It takes until almost 11 the next morning for Soonyoung to drag himself out of bed, and he’s glaring at the coffeemaker like it’s personally offending him when Wonwoo gets home. He’s silent, taking off his shoes and coat but keeping the beanie on like the egghead Soonyoung says he is.

“Have fun last night?” Soonyoung asks when it becomes clear that Wonwoo isn’t planning on saying anything.

Wonwoo looks up, startled like a deer in headlights. “Oh. Uh, yeah, it was cool.” He pauses for a second, clearly only beginning to take in Soonyoung’s messy hair, the same shirt he wore yesterday, and nothing but boxers underneath. “You seem like you had a fun night yourself. Should I be prepared to find a stranger in our bathroom?”

“Nope,” Soonyoung says brightly. “Just me. Cute that you think I’m getting any, though.”

“I’d rather not think about your sex life at all, thanks.”

“Well, luckily for you, it’s nonexistent, so that should be pretty easy.”

“Not really, since you’ve decided to make your dry spell everyone else’s problem,” Wonwoo mutters, finally coming to stand awkwardly in the kitchen instead of awkwardly in the hall. “Is there enough coffee for me?”

Soonyoung sighs dramatically. “I was planning on drinking enough coffee for a brunch table by myself, but I guess I can spare some for you.”

“Wow. Your generosity never ceases to amaze me,” Wonwoo deadpans.

“I know, I surprise even myself sometimes.”

Wonwoo gets out their mugs; his normal sized one with Nyan Cat on it, and Soonyoung’s bowl-with-a-handle that reads “A Little Mascara Never Hurt Anyone!” that he cherishes beyond all reason. They’re silent for a minute as they drink, and the caffeine flooding Soonyoung’s system brings back his idea from last night. He hasn’t given it much (re: any) thought in the sober light of morning, but when has that ever stopped him? At least he’s not trying to break into the zoo this time.

“Hey, you should kiss me,” Soonyoung says. Wonwoo chokes on his coffee, barely managing to turn to spit it out into the sink, and Soonyoung gracefully allows him to catch his breath before continuing. “I’m sorry, that came out wrong.”

“What the actual fuck did you mean?” Wonwoo wheezes. “Jesus, I think there’s coffee in my lungs now.”

“I meant that you should teach me how to kiss.” Soonyoung watches Wonwoo’s face go through a complex process of emotions, and decides he should maybe clarify a bit more. “Like, by kissing me. For practice.”

“What the fuck,” Wonwoo says, voice flat like a blue computer screen. The man is absolutely not processing anything. “Am I still asleep? Am I this drunk right now?”

“No, come on, I’m serious,” Soonyoung whines. “You hook up with people, like, all the time. Teach me your ways.”

“I’m not going to teach you how to hook up,” Wonwoo says. “That is something for you to do with someone else.”

“No—” Soonyoung cuts himself off as his brain sputters like a failing engine and restarts. “No, I don’t want you to have sex with me. Just teach me how to kiss! I know the rest!”

Wonwoo still looks so uncomfortable that Soonyoung almost wants to ask him if he’s constipated, but his shoulders still sag in partial relief. Small victories. “But… Soonyoung, what makes you think I’m even a good kisser?”

“Have you ever been told you’re a bad kisser to your face?”

“Well, no, but—”

“Then you’re at least better than me,” Soonyoung says flatly. “And, again, even though I don’t understand, you seem to be getting a ton of action. So you’re probably actually good.”

“I’m not sure if I should be offended or not.”

“Don’t be! It’s like, 90% a compliment, which is way better than normal.” Soonyoung fixes Wonwoo with his best pleading eyes (the key, he’s found, is to add a bit of enthusiasm) and pouts. He doesn’t miss the way Wonwoo’s eyes flit down to his lips before he rolls them.

There’s a long, increasingly charged pause before Wonwoo sighs. “Fucking—fine, dude, but this better not make anything weird.”

“I owe you my life,” Soonyoung says seriously, placing a hand on Wonwoo’s shoulder. Wonwoo looks down at his hand and then back to him, eyes narrowed. Soonyoung removes his hand. “Sorry. Did I make it weird?”

“Yes,” Wonwoo says, but he sounds more exasperated than anything else. “Anyway. When do you want to do this?”

Soonyoung shrugs. “I dunno. I didn’t really think I’d get this far. Maybe, like, tonight?”

“Tonight works,” Wonwoo says. “I just need to shower the dorm off of me.”

Soonyoung wrinkles his nose. “Yeah, how was it hooking up with a fucking college student?”

“We only graduated two years ago,” Wonwoo says defensively. He hesitates, and Soonyoung quirks his head knowingly. “Okay, it was disgusting. I swear we kept our suite cleaner than that, right?”

Soonyoung makes a betrayed face. “How could you forget about my pizza experiment corner?”

Wonwoo does a full body shudder. “Please, don’t remind me.” Soonyoung cackles as he picks up his coffee mug and practically flees the room. “I’m finishing this in the shower.”

“Hygienic,” Soonyoung calls after him, ignoring Wonwoo’s swears back at him.

Soonyoung moves slowly in the kitchen as Wonwoo showers, and is standing at the sink rinsing out his mug, unaware that the running water had drowned out the sound of the showerhead turning off.

“How did you know where I was last night?” Wonwoo says from behind him. Soonyoung jumps and splashes a giant mug full of water all over his shirt.

“What the fuck, you ghost, make some more noise when you walk—” Soonyoung says, turning and freezing when he sees Wonwoo in the doorway. Part of him is mad; not because of the dishwater soaking his shirt, but in the betrayed way that only happens when Mingyu is right about something. Most of him, though, is just in shock.

Wonwoo has a towel wrapped around his waist and is using another one to dry his hair, but his torso is completely exposed and—what the fuck, are those his abs when he’s not even flexing, that’s just rude. No one should have arms that good and hide them under hoodies all day. When Soonyoung’s eyes make their way back to Wonwoo’s face, he’s met with an expectant look, and Soonyoung remembers that he is somehow supposed to form words.

“I’ll never reveal my secrets,” he says thickly, and clears his throat. “I work in mysterious ways.”

Wonwoo scoffs. “Did Jun turn on location sharing again?”

“I’ll never tell,” Soonyoung says stiffly. “I’m trained in enemy evasion techniques—”

“I’m going to kill him,” Wonwoo says calmly, and walks down the hall to his bedroom.

Soonyoung stands there, staring blankly at the space Wonwoo left and wondering what the fuck he just got himself into.

———

From: Moon Junhui  
_did u tell wonu abt my tracking  
u bitch_  


To: Moon Junhui  
_no!!!!!!!  
ok maybe he kind of figured it out by accident_  


From: Moon Junhui  
_well now i can’t see where he is 🙄  
which means i can’t avoid him when he comes here to MURDER ME_  


To: Moon Junhui  
_ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ  
rip in peace_

———

Soonyoung knocks on Wonwoo’s door that evening, a little hesitant. Now that he’s actually here, he’s doubting everything— what if Wonwoo thinks he’s hopelessly bad? What if he does make things weird between them? What if—

Wonwoo opens the door, looking soft in glasses and a hoodie that covers his hands. Soonyoung’s worries don’t disappear, exactly, but when Wonwoo smiles a little at him, they fade into a weird feeling in his stomach and nothing more. It’s just Wonwoo, after all.

“Come in,” Wonwoo says, standing back from the door. Soonyoung nods, and stands in the middle of the room for a moment before Wonwoo sits on the edge of his bed and pats the space next to him. Soonyoung isn’t sure if the air is thick with tension or if his nerves just make it hard for him to move, but either way, Wonwoo’s self-assuredness seems to emulate off of him in waves once Soonyoung is sitting next to him.

“So,” Soonyoung starts, and licks his extremely dry lips. Fuck, he forgot to moisturize.

“I was thinking,” Wonwoo says, and how the fuck does he look so calm right now? “What do you think makes you a bad kisser?”

Soonyoung takes a deep breath and leans back a bit, crossing his arms in front of his stomach. “Well, that’s a bit of a loaded question. I mean, I’ve told you about the guys that have literally walked away from me after we kiss?” Wonwoo nods, his jaw set stiffly. “So, there’s that. And I also think I’m too, like. Enthusiastic? Not in the good way, but in the kind of pushy way, with just too much tongue. And…”

Wonwoo is watching him, and he nods, encouragingly. “And?”

“I kind of drool a lot. It’s gross.”

Wonwoo raises an eyebrow. “I see. Okay.”

Soonyoung grimaces. “This might be worse than you thought when you agreed to it. I can just go.”

“No, you’re fine,” Wonwoo says quickly. “I said I would do this. We’ll just have to start at the basics.”

Soonyoung nods, still a little hesitant. “Right. Okay. So… that means…”

“Just,” and now, there’s a hint of awkwardness as Wonwoo shifts closer. “Keep your lips closed, okay? Don’t even try to kiss back.”

Soonyoung nods, his eyes almost starting to cross as they focus on Wonwoo’s mouth. “Okay,” he squeaks.

Wonwoo pauses close to him. “You can close your eyes, if you want.”

“Okay,” Soonyoung says again, and he squeezes his eyes shut.

Soonyoung realizes with some shock that he feels more than he hears the huff of air that comes out of Wonwoo’s nose, amused. “I’m going to kiss you now, okay?”

“Okay.” Soonyoung inhales deep through his nose, trying to keep his mouth slack like Wonwoo told him, anticipating with every extended moment—

And then Wonwoo kisses him, and Soonyoung feels like he probably should have asked for some references first. It’s not bad, it’s just—not mindblowing. It’s a press of lips against his, dry, with the slightest amount of pressure, enough to know it’s not accidental. Before Soonyoung can finish analyzing the kiss it’s over, and he’s opening his eyes in surprise.

Well, at least he doesn’t need to worry about catching feelings. But he’s pretty sure he should have felt… something.

“So?” Wonwoo asks, and Soonyoung blinks a few times as his attention comes back to the moment. “Did you notice anything?”

“You’re just trying to get me to compliment you, aren’t you?” Soonyoung says. Wonwoo keeps his face neutral, but Soonyoung sees a glint of something in his eyes. “I mean. I don’t know. Good… pressure, I guess.”

Wonwoo nods. “Okay. This isn’t anything you should be really blown away by, but starting small is better than diving right into it.”

Soonyoung feels a twinge of disappointment. It’s not like he wants to get all hot and heavy and have Wonwoo’s tongue down his throat, but at the same time, it’s been so long since anyone’s tongue has been down his throat and he had been kind of looking forward to the possibility of that happening tonight. “Right. That’s probably a lesson in itself.”

Wonwoo laughs. “I guess.”

Soonyoung smiles, some of the tension in his body softening. “So, what’s next?”

“Kiss me back,” Wonwoo says. “Keep your mouth closed, and just follow my lead, okay?”

“Yeah,” Soonyoung says quietly, unexpectedly stricken by how easily this seems to come to Wonwoo. He feels off-kilter, rocking in a stormy sea, but Wonwoo’s calm steadies him.

Wonwoo leans in again, his eyes on Soonyoung’s until he looks down at his lips. Soonyoung’s eyes float shut and he tilts his chin up, ready for it. He’s not ready for Wonwoo’s fingers on his chin, angling him just so, and it makes his lips just barely part in surprise. Wonwoo kisses him, and Soonyoung closes his mouth like he was told, the fingers on his chin staying in place.

Already, this feels different. Wonwoo’s mouth is pressing against his like before, but this time it feels like Soonyoung is being pulled towards him, too. Wonwoo moves slowly but steadily, letting Soonyoung have enough time to catch up, pulling back just enough that he can press back in without letting their mouths separate.

They kiss, again and again, lips slowly getting tacky from the bit of spit Soonyoung can’t contain, and it’s chaste but it’s heady, making Soonyoung’s body buzz. He can feel himself get lost in it, anything that isn’t every point of contact he has with Wonwoo fading away until it’s only a distant memory.

A shiver runs down Soonyoung’s spine, and Wonwoo pulls away. They stare at each other for a moment, catching their breath, until Wonwoo blinks and looks down, taking off his glasses to clean them with his hoodie.

“That was… That felt better,” Soonyoung suggests quietly.

“Yeah,” Wonwoo says, and it’s like he snaps back into place as he sets the glasses down on his nightstand. He turns back to face Soonyoung again, that self-assurance settling over his shoulders. “You sure this wasn’t an excuse to make out with me?”

Soonyoung tries to not be insulting, but can’t quite contain his eyeroll. “Don’t get so cocky. I did not watch you do a walk of shame this morning and just go ‘goddamn I need a piece of that,’ trust me.”

“Sure,” Wonwoo says. “I’m just saying. Either I have low standards, or you’re not as bad as you think.”

Soonyoung pauses, processing Wonwoo’s words the same way a printer processes a paper jam. “Oh,” he finally gets out, his stomach all twisted up in a weird but not altogether unpleasant way. “I’m just following your lead, like you said. I guess you must just be a good teacher.”

“That sounds like an awful pick up line,” Wonwoo says flatly. “Are you sure the whole kissing thing is the only reason you’re not getting laid?”

“You haven’t gotten to the spit yet,” Soonyoung warns. “You don’t even know.”

Wonwoo wrinkles his nose just enough for it to be noticeable. “We can save that for next time.”

“Next time?” Soonyoung asks before he can think better of it. “You want to do this again?”

Wonwoo blinks, a little startled, like he is only now realizing what he said. “I thought that would make the most sense,” he says after a minute. “Ease you into it, you know? The more practice, the better. And our lips are gonna get sore.”

“Your lips get sore?” Soonyoung blurts out, incredulous.

“Yeah, dumbass,” Wonwoo says. “Have you literally never made out with someone for so long that your lips start to ache?”

Soonyoung hesitates. “I mean, there've been people who’ve said ow when I kissed them before, but I always chalked that up to the way I’ve jammed their noses.”

“Please stop talking or I’ll change my mind,” Wonwoo says, and he already looks kind of regretful. Unfortunately, Soonyoung has a little voice inside of him that is legally required to annoy Wonwoo whenever the opportunity presents itself.

“You want me to shut up? Make me,” he says, grinning, and the little voice in his brain cackles. It’s possible Soonyoung is also cackling.

“That was worse than the teacher one,” Wonwoo says, pained, but his expression smooths out as he leans in.

Soonyoung catches on a moment later, and his response is delayed enough that Wonwoo ends up kissing his teeth. Wonwoo makes a disgruntled noise and starts to pull away, but Soonyoung’s hand flies to the back of his head, keeping him close as he rearranges his features and leans back in, lips gentle, soft but not slack. Wonwoo sighs through his nose against Soonyoung’s cheek (that answers Soonyoung’s next question) and kisses back, eventually leaning a hand on Soonyoung’s thigh for balance.

They get lost in it—or at least Soonyoung does, and the languid way Wonwoo is kissing him back is pretty indicative that he’s not alone. And he knows they’re not going to go any further, Soonyoung knows that, but he still wants more. He wants to keep feeling like the nerve endings at his lips are attuned to Wonwoo and dialed up into static, like every point of contact between their bodies is sending echoes into a feedback loop to make a hand on the leg feel like so much more.

It’s impossible for Soonyoung to stay grounded, to contain all of his eagerness and building desire and desperation in the one body afforded to him by a cruel god. He shifts forward, forgetting himself, forgetting that he is supposed to try and be good at kissing, that he should be taking mental notes. Wonwoo’s hand on his thigh falls to the outer edge, welcoming him in, the other coming up to hold his waist and pull him closer. Soonyoung’s brain turns static and he sighs against Wonwoo’s mouth, letting his own go slack. The kiss gets wetter, spit slicking their lips, making the beginnings of a mess.

“Sorry,” Soonyoung says when he can’t stand it anymore and has to pull away to wipe at his chin. “Told you I get spit everywhere.”

“It’s okay,” Wonwoo murmurs, pulling him back in with a hand on his elbow. “I like it messy.”

And, well, Soonyoung’s brain is now completely offline. Any attempts to contact it will fail. He shifts even closer, now seated halfway in Wonwoo’s lap, letting himself get fully overwhelmed as they sink further into each other. Wonwoo makes a soft noise deep in his throat and Soonyoung responds with enthusiasm, pressing maybe a little too hard into the kiss, his nose snug against Wonwoo’s cheek. He barely has the space to feel bad about it before Wonwoo gently takes his face in one distressingly large hand and pushes him back, just enough to keep them connected without creating any cartilage damage.

There are very few things Soonyoung knows for sure, but he’s pretty sure he’s going to have to add “gets turned on by everything that just happened” to that list. It’s only cemented considering how good it feels when he shifts his hips down towards Wonwoo’s lap and meets friction, just enough to spark a little too much pleasure low in his gut. He should be embarrassed that it only takes this much to turn him on, but the way Wonwoo pulls him closer with one hand on his hip and the other on his neck is both shameless and infectious. No wonder Wonwoo hooks up so much—he knows exactly what he is doing.

Soonyoung feels the thought land in his stomach like a brick in a puddle. He’s here to learn from Wonwoo, not to hook up with him. Wonwoo is just his friend—his friend who is also his roommate. His roommate who is teaching him how to kiss. His roommate who is definitely not teaching him how to grind on his lap to, what? Come in his pants? Soonyoung breaks away, a hand on Wonwoo’s shoulder to keep the distance, and wills away the eventuality of a full boner in his roommate’s bed.

“Soonyoung?” Wonwoo asks, and fuck. His lips are pink, plush and parted as a surprised breath escapes them. They’re wet, too, spit-slick—messy, like Wonwoo said he likes, and double fuck. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Soonyoung says too quickly. “Yeah, I just—I need to go.”

He stands before Wonwoo has the chance to respond and is almost at the door when Wonwoo calls to him. “Soonyoung, wait, what—”

Soonyoung doesn’t wait to hear the end of the sentence before closing the door behind him. He rushes to his room and closes his door, putting what feels like a safe amount of boundaries between them, and presses his forehead to the wood. He wonders, for the second time today, what the hell he’d gotten himself into.

Belatedly, frustratingly, he realizes his mouth is sore.

———  
From: Jeon Wonwoo  
_R u ok?_  
_U ran out of my room._  
_Did i do something wrong?_

**Author's Note:**

> thank u as always to carina for the beta and moodboard also thank u sierra for looking over it!
> 
> i hope to eventually add a second part to this but writing is hard and i just started a new job and i've found that putting pressure on myself to "have" to "do something" makes me less inclined to do it (thank u adhd!) so...... hope for an update but don't expect it yknow. does this make sense. am i just oversharing in the ao3 endnotes.


End file.
